Korean Wedding

Well the wedding I went to was quite different from ours at home.  We were there at 11.30am. It was a wedding hall.  It had a wedding upstairs and one on the main floor. Ours was upstairs.  The one room had the wedding.  Which was really cool. Here you can see the wedding room at the far left.  (This is a shot from the buffet room, where you eat and the bride and groom come afterwards dressed in their hanboks). Also you can watch the wedding on the TV screens.

Here is a photo of the bride and groom. They're having a more Western style wedding.  The priest is behind this table full of flowers.  Then you see the man making the video.  Her dress was lovely. It sparkled. I liked it!  We sat in large tables of 8.  You just sat in a table and watched.  You can see a large tree on the left. There was a catwalk!  Lined with white trees. I have a good photo below too. The wedding was probably 30 minutes long?

Here is the photos of the trees and the flowers and balls hanging off them. It's was quit pretty.

Also! After the vows or whatever they were (It was all in Korean) the family bows to each of their parents. THEN these people sitting infront of us get up and start singing a song. THEN the lights go out and like stadium lights (the like spots lights, then little green and red dots; I have a video) and then you see this dude playing clarinet. He was JAMMING OUT. I have GREAT video of that. After we watched this every single person wanted some sort of solo at their wedding. Josh wants a guitar solo, Mel wants a keytarist at her wedding.

Here is the wedding cake. RAD.  Ok not even the COOLEST PART! Ok so the light dim again. Then the cake gets like crazy fog and lights from beneath it! Effin rad. They blow out the candles. Then CUT IT WITH A SAMURI SWORD! (again I got video!)

So after this (this was the WHOLE ceremony) they take photos.  This I got of their family! Then they do one with friends and co-workers. So I WAS UP! I'm in someones wedding photo! Oh Lisa, sorry haha.  That's when Lisa does the throwing the bouquet, but she throws it to a friend...I'm not sure how that's chosen, but there is a cool photo.

So here is a group shot with the ladies I work with.  Well two of them are dating guys at our work, but they're SUPER nice and Canadian.  

And the boys I work with.  The one of the right is dating a girl at our work. He's British, so he's cool.

This is part of my dinner at the buffet. So after the ceremony we get a ticket to get into the buffet. Then you go to town, pick a table (some are reserved) eat. There is soju, beer and pop (and water) on the table.  So here is a salad, mango chicken(which had some HEAT to it) and sushi. It had coloured rice so I had to take a photo!

It was all over by like 2pm or something like that? That's it.  So different from home in that aspect, but it was nice. They also had people playing during dinner.  

After that we all went out and drank a bit in the afternoon at a park. You can do that here. 

Did that really happen twice in the same day?

What is that I'm referring to? Getting my lady pieces grabbed.

And not by my 4 year old boyfriend.

So my 3.30 classes full of 7 and 8 year olds.  These kids at the end of class (one boy to 11 girls MIND YOU) all run over and like attack me. Playfully that is.  So while the girl are like poking me and tickling, this kid HONKS MY BOOB!  SERIOUSLY! Ok that was the first time in Korea. Like wtf man.  I know they're bigger than you're use to, BUT DAMN.  So I was like wtf....hah and told the co-ordinator of the class and she was like ok I'll call his mom. I said no big deal it's not right, but he isn't like 13 and doing it right. Why do I speak so soon?

My 5.30-6.15 class.... This is during the break is SO hyper he's just everywhere. What does he do HE EEFIN GRABS MY BOOB! Same effin one the other kid did. Apparently it's the choice boob.  Note to self don't wear that shirt again. It was a tank top there was no cleavage! So this is like 11, 12 years old and KNOWS BETTER.  Hot damn I was like DO NOT TOUCH TEACHER!  I erased all his stars and was like NO. NO. So when I told the co-ordinator for that class her reaction was, "ewwwwww" and I said yea good luck calling his mom with that one! and I peaced out.

If only the guys could be of age and not so Korean I could be into it.

Strange

So today I was teaching and heard this strange alarm.  I thought it was a fire engine or ambulance or something, but it was really loud and didn't move. But I was busy teaching so I didn't think about it.

The girls mentioned it later and now they think it's the bomb alarm.  So if North Korea attacks they'll sound it.  Well, that's scary.

The night of a thousand posts

Odds and sods really.

1. I have a kid in my one class who LOVES Queen. like LOVES Queen. He does "We Will Rock You" in every class.  Yet doesn't know Radio Ga Ga. Who does he think he is.  But he knows bicycle so one day soon we will sing it. 

2. I will be bringing home the most ridiculous pens and pencils.  Korea kinda blows for cool stuff, but they have weird crap by the shit load. Trust me.  Or you will be getting strange jewelry (yea I had to ask Mel how to spell that word...I'm doing good)

3. The train station finally got a new poster outside.

4. The fridge in my apartment is as big as a fucking Kodiak Bear and makes about as much noise as one fucking would.

5. I put in laundry at 8pm. It is now 11.15 pm and it is the 2nd time I remember to go get it, yet have it? No.  Awesome.

6. I am thankful for Popeye's Chicken and the small veggie market by my apartment.

7. It doesn't matter where I go in Korea I forget to do something, without fail.

8. The smartest kid in my class also cries the most.  So far she's down to once with me and it wasn't even a full out cry, just some tearing.  I think my over doing the wow you're awesome is aiding to her self esteem.

9. I'm working out frustration by making lucky stars. YEP that's my night.

10. It's 11.20 and still haven't hung up my laundry. 

My new haircut.

Forgot to write about this.

Last Saturday I felt like I needed a change, plus let's say my hair wasn't all brown anymore.

So I was told which place to go where people spoke the best English.  Let's say....still not the best English.

So I go by and it's full, so I came back about 20 minutes later and I took a seat.  The one lady spoke decent English and gave me a tea.  Then I did the finger scissors and said cut. To which she said ahh ahh cut cut.  So we were good there.   Then I grabbed my hair and said colour. Then put my hands all over my hair and said all. Colour all.  Right so she was like ok, brown. I said yes.

So my haircut about 5 minutes. She just chopped my hair and not like a little bit A SHIT LOAD off.  I cried on the inside.  Then she touches my bangs so I said yes...... My mistake, cause she does an asian bang.  Meaning she brushed half my hair forward and CUT. oh god. Also my hair was not washed or combed when she cut my hair.  And I"m not exaggerating by saying she did 3 cuts. back, left then right. That was that.

Ok, so hair cut is done.  Colour time.

My lady (the older woman) is yelling at the lady who spoke English. Saying they are too short (i know)  the foils that is. SO she starts to work. and she gets one done and i'm like wtf is going on.... so she does two more and I grab this other woman who works there and I like touch all her hair and say all colour. Then a lightbulb comes on. and they are like OHH SHIT. They were doing highlight.  Yea so hah after getting shit ripped out of my hair they wash it. Also note they use gloves.  Like rubber gloves. It hurts like a bitch. Then immediately they blow dry, don't brush it and put in the new colour.  They're all like communication is bad. I laugh it off right cause why get mad.  They don't know English, I don't know Korean.  C'est la vie.  So hah eventually my ordeal is over. My Dexter book is 3/4 done and I have new hair.

This is what they did to me.

If you ever worried about me finding a boyfriend.

You need worry no longer.  My new boyfriend is Alex.  He's my shorty if you will.

He is four and is on me ALL THE TIME.  Kid is hilarious.

The first day he kicked me and I had to tell him no don't.  So he stopped.  I give the kids high fives and he loves it.

Two days ago he wraps his body around my thigh. Like he is a baby monkey I am the mother and we are going for a ride.

Today he started to kiss my hand before he would give me a high five. EVERY time.  

Now everytime the head teacher takes the kids out to the bathroom or to get water or to the lunch room they have to do a train.  Where the kids put their hands on the back of the shoulders of the kid infront of them. So today my Alex taps his shoulders and waves his hand like get on the train bitch.  So I do, but when I let go he turns around and taps his shoulders again.  Yep, if this isn't love. I don't know what love is.

Then I think my favourite thing today was when they were going home.  He is sitting in his line and sees me gets up. So I hold out my arms and he runs to me like Baby in Dirty Dancing.  Hilarious.

In class he also enjoys holding my hand.

I love most of my little kids. There are a few dolts, but most of my kids are smart. Especially for being 4 years old.  By dolt I mean I have one kid who is just pissy all day. ALL DAY. I saw him excited ONCE. EVER.  It's like living with grumpy bear from the Care Bears. Look when you spend 9 hours a day with kids my analogies become that of a childs.  And what's better than the Care Bears?  Fraggle Rock. Correct.

Side note

Just wanted to say thank you to anyone who puts up with my BS. Especially recently with all these good times happening!  I appreciate you listening to me bitch and moan.  If I didn't have you to do it to, I'd be going crazier than I already am!  

I would probably end up drinking toilet water and barking like a dog. (well wait I already do one of those two things)  And yes it's drink toilet water. No I mean bark like a dog.

I wrote a sweet blog and now it won't publish.

So this is my classroom, in all it's blue glory. Jun 1 is the closest to me. HE IS MY FAVOURITE!

I miss that kid! In this photo they are taking Big Tests. Right beside Jun 1 is Jun 2. My second favourite

kid. Then Frank. I teach his little sister Jenny in my Phonics class. I see her all the time. Angie

has her face turned and Kelly is hiding her with a book. Sarah is in the red. At the back in the white

is Nikcy. The last kid, did the best on that Big Test, Scott. Smart kid. He plays guitar too so I like

him. They all graduated out of my class and are in new classes. So in 2 months I may get some of

them again. I hope so cause I liked them.

OK. Now all the photos below are from 2 Saturday's ago. It was Kindy Graduation. Meaning the morning

classes kids have graduated. The youngest who are 5 years old, are still morning kids, but they are in

a new class.

So here is Cecelia (the white girl who isn't Mel) and Mel. She's holding up Eric.  There all

Sun class kids.  On the left in the green is Carrie, then Dennis the bunny, then Rupee in the pink dress, then Sophie, the half face with glasses is Gina and then Suzi.

Sophie ready to hop on stage.

I love Dennis in the bunny suit!

So I like this photo, these were great girls.  The one standing is Jennifer.  She latched ONTO you as soon as she liked you. What can I say? She loves me.  Mostly she enjoys poking my fat or hitting my butt.  She has eagle claws for hands.  But the best part about Jennifer is when she talks she talks like a robot.

This is Carrie and I. I miss Carrie, she is such a smart kid, but why they made her the green penis is beyond me. Ok so she's an evergreen tree in the musical, 'the Farting Contest'

This is Sally, they made her a boy for the play. She totally reminds me of Oliver Twist in that costume.  Sweet kid.

One kid wanted to take a picture with my camera, so who was I to let her down?

Moon class Kevin, kickin ass with that wig. That was possibly the greatest wig of the entire show, because it was SO damn funny on him and Andy.

Yea! This is Judy, she is one sassy lady.  She's in the Korean pose.  Her wig is my second favourite!

You can't get much cuter than Matilda. Do you see those dimples? 

Dearly departed Jay who was getting his butt kicked by Nicolas and Andy.

Is that a lot of kids or what?! The tallest Korean is Ally hah. She's my Korean teacher with the new Lily kids. Aka. the no speak any Englishy kids. God love her too, cause she controls them when I have NO IDEA what they're saying.

Ok, Annie, the girl with the blond wig who is being lit up by the sun. I won her in a rock, paper, scissors contest. So she's coming home with me!!  She's going to do whatever she wants to she is a genius. She knows what an ostrich is in English, get out of TOWN. Seriously! I didn't know what an ostrich was when I was 8.  Then again, I am me.  Eff you I was a smart kid.  She actually told another one of the teachers (when talking about friends) that her books. Harom (that was for the Arabs) how sad and that just makes you love her a little more.

The kid in the blue hat is Eddie. Eddie is a smart kid, but as we say in school a space cadet. He gets into his own world, but dammit does it ever look like fun from the outside.  He can also break dance better than your grandma.

The red menace beside him is Andy. His voice can cut glass and splice my head into two. I do no miss that one.

Carrie taken out by a really loud fart.

They were so cut, the new kids are so strange.  I got here with 2 months left of their program so these kids were so smart.  Now I'm with kids who know a few words and you know my 4 years olds who know nothing....  I think 4 of them know my name now....   I'm going to post this then try again with the video!

Addition

Postcards have been sent out as of my Tuesday or your Monday. Let me know when they get there!

Short update

So, Saturday I had kindy graduation.  Now I have video and photos I'll put up in a longer post about it because they deserve their own blog. Effin cute kids who I miss.

Sunday-Tuesday I did work, when around Seoul.  Bought some stuff. Had Schwarma. Went to the Canadian consulate. Waited outside the American Consulate for.....an HOUR. Thanks America you slow asses.  Seriously!  

Wednesday.  Oh boy.  Today was shit.  Seriously. Absolute high class shit.  My kids. New kids.  Speak NO English. No hi.  SHIT most didn't even know their names. They are 4 - 5 years old. I HAVE ALL THE YOUNGEST KIDS IN THE GD SCHOOL.  I have 11 effin kids. 11 kids who don't know English. Who can't sit still.  So the only thing I can do is make funny faces.  And that shit I'm golden at.

I already have my favourites. Lucy (she's a damn genius, but cried on her first day, just like her teacher today) and Aaron.  HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SAY MY NAME.  I SHIT YOU NOT.

So I taught them twice.  I'm sure if I can get their attention they'll be fine, but I know shit.  AND I had 2 other teachers in with me while trying to teach.  So my Lily head Korean teacher (WHO I LOVE and is a damn peach of a woman) and then the head lady who came in a just started teaching. I was like WTF.  I had NO IDEA what's going on.  So I pretty much just did nothing for 10 minutes.  Like seriously.  I do NOT know how to teach kids with little understanding of their OWN language a whole NEW language.  So do not barge in on my class. I was livid.  Like oh be careful.  SO PISSED.  I'm assuming she went in there because neither myself or my head korean teacher had taught a lily class before so i know it's because she wanted to help, but like seriously don't barge in on me. Talk to me after class for pointers.  I = unimpressed.

Then they tell me to eat lunch with them. HILARIOUS. why cause my ass had 1 period off today.  to do what you ask? OH my prep.  Really cause there was a LOUD ASS GYM class taking place beside my room. I couldn't hear myself think, it was THAT LOUD.  So I got nothing done.  THEN I'm told I messed up homework sheets. Awesome.  So I had to do it during my lunch.  So I told the head lady I can not eat lunch with the kids today.  She's like why. So I tell her.  I got are you not eating lunch? Even 5 minutes. Ok what I just wrote was an amazing rant like no other, but let's just say I'm not happy with this 'new' idea from Mr. Kim.

So FINALLY afternoon class. GOD LOVE THEM AND THEIR ENGLISH SPEAKING ABILITIES!

OMG IT WAS AMAZING. My girl Cindy, my 100% on her Big Test. I bought her a minnie mouse pencil and a notebook.  She's my pride and joy in phonics.  I tossed out a kid cause he ANSWERED HIS FUCKING CELL PHONE IN MY CLASS. I said just leave.  So the head korean teacher comes in and says his mom called. I DON"T GIVE  AFUCK WHO FUCKING CALLED DO NOT HAVE OU FUCKING PHONE ON IN MY CLASS. (ps can you tell i have my lady business)  So I said why did she call. And she said oh she thought it was a break.  really cause this is always the time i teach your little shithead son. OMG OMG seriously i'm going to break that kid.

So after them! I had a class with 4 girls. I'm teaching and 10-15 minutes in. I get the other 9 fucking students who were in their old classroom and they looked at me like it was my fucking fault. ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!  EFF YOU BITCH.  It's my job to teach not wrangle fucking kids. I don't even know where the fuck my classes are.

So after that BS.  Those kids I liked the one was STRANGE. I had 1/2 the class before in 2 different classes. Whatever not bad.

Then my 5.30 classes. JESUS ON A FUCKING ROPE.  are you kidding me.

SO NO ONE had their new books. they brought them in 5 mintues after class started. THEN they took out 3 - 4 students at a time to do their computer tests. ARE YOU SHITTING IN MY MOUTH NOW? LIKE HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO TEACH WHEN I DO NOT HAVE THEM ALL IN ONE ROOM AT THE SAME TIME. 

What the fuck ever. Holy christ sandwich.

Finally my day ends and my Korean Lily lady has me over to talk and she was talkign about the class and I'm just frustrated to the fucking hilt at this point and I really did tear up a bit, but like WTF.  She and I are in the same boat like neither of us has a clue wtf we're suppose to do, so even though it's nice, it SUCKS cause we have NO IDEA what we're suppose to do.  So "Serenity Now".  I asked if we could just fast forward like 3 months.

I saw my old students today and I almost hugged them all. I miss those little sons of bees.  And my other kids my 4.30 ones who are in new classes. I miss them. I saw them and was like omg come to me my children let us run away from here. Seriously I'm out of it and hungry let me be.

This post made little sense and I should delete it but it's less energy to click on post. So there you go. An insane day in the life of an overwhelmed English teacher in Korea.